Her Doctor Binkys Vanderklok

Herr Doktor Binkies Vanderklok


Dr. Vanderklok himself has few memories of his origin that aren’t fragmented and contradictory. This Dr Binkies accepts with a uncharacteristic incuriosity that startles those that know him well. “I am who I am and the past is the past” he says cheerfully, “it is usually better to let sleeping dogs lie.” He has clear memories of being born in a traveling evil circus and seeing his parents perform both for the degenerate pleasures of backwards customers and the even viler demands of the creatures that truly ran the dark carnival. He also has fragmentary memories of a youth in a beautiful land of canals and windmills, coffee shops and university. Binkies accepts this all with great aplomb, if pressed he will allow that the memories only make sense if he is a necromantic homunculus made with the flesh and animated spirits of two different creatures, a fact which little bothers him, “I should be lucky to have any memories at all, Dr Frakenstein’s creature had none!”.

In truth, Herr Doktor Binkies Vanderklok is the results of a mad project born of the dying days of the Tolkien-Coalition war. Lord Magus Lucius Barca and Dr. Esmerelda Random sought to combine their expertise in necromancy and genetics to create a techno-wizarding researcher who could bring forth the lost magical super-weapons of the legendary Third Reich, and do so under their control. Once the project was brought to completion, it took an amusing amount of time for the pair to realize that the legends of Der Fuhrer’s legions zombie apes, werewolves, and spears of destiny were more legendary than otherwise. To create their magical patsy, the pair purchased a young gorilla from a traveling black circus, an advantage for the pair as the Gorilla already had long exposure to dark necromantic energies. This poor ape was then subjected to a battery of terrible surgeries, genetic alterations, and necromantic rituals.

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His skull was removed and replaced with a sliver vessel inscribed with barbarous words of power and blasphemous incantations. The silver brain jar was much larger than Binkie’s old skull, and served room to house added human brain matter, which had been genetically altered with cellular material from the preserved remains of an officer of the Third Reich’s Magical Service purchased at great cost from a shop run by Ghuls in Splyncryth. Once the desired vessel was complete, the spirits involved were severed from their shells and forced to combine in another feat of dark arts never before or since attempted. Thusly combined, the spirit of the Man-Ape was then bound back into its vessel, and bound to the service of the pair, or at least so they thought. Unfortunately for the ambitious pair of researchers, their binding ritual made some flawed assumptions; once they combined the spirits, the name of the new entity was a new true name, simply using the two previous true names had no compelling power.

Mathius Vanderklok, one time Oberst in the Ahnenerbe SS, was glad to find himself in a powerful new body. His last years in Paraguay had been painful, agonizing even. Even worse than the drudgery of old age however, was the certainty of what waited for him in the after life. He had done terrible things, and seen worse done by others. His soul was marked, a valuable commodity in the hellish market of the real under world. But he knew what was coming for him, it wasn’t visions of hell hounds or cenobytes that woke him in the night with cold sweats, it was HIM. The thing that called itself THE FUHRER, the thing that ate that power hungry bastard Adolf from the inside. That’s why he went to the Ghul, the eaters of the dead could claim him while he was alive. Little did he suspect that the clever things would preserve his ‘olde essential saltes’ and bones for sale in some remote astounding dark future.

Mathius gratefully made peace with the spirit of Binkies of the Circus, and allowed their essences to fully combine into a new thing. Hopefully, no one is looking for Mathias the Ape-Man! But when the spark of Mathius that remained learned of what Barca and Random sought to do next it drove them to take precipitous action. Both Binkies and Mathius agreed that the things learned in the Circus and the Death Camps were better left locked away safely inside them, better for those arts to die from the waking world. But they were both horrified to discover that somehow through their interviews or perhaps by eavesdropping or through seances, the pair had learned enough to attempt to re-create the Ragnarok Working, an attempt to summon forth a being of the outer darkness to rain destruction down on the enemies of Tolkien. A Coalition POW camp was in the process of being transformed into a necromantic death engine. Her Doktor Binkies Vanderklok managed to leak the location of the camp and the pair’s plans to the Coalition, and with their death in a strike by Coalition Operatives they were finally free. Binkies Vanderklok was able to pass their selves off as a member of the mad-scientists’ research team and worked in various government labs for the remainder of the war, until the city itself came under constant air attack. At that point the various scientists and magical researches were evacuated away from the city, just ahead of Prosek’s encircling armies. Binkies managed to miss his truck once out of the city. Vanderklok had no more desire to end up machine gunned in a trench by a righteously vengeful conquering enemy than he had the desire to end up machine gunned in a trench by an old employer looking to cover up his past crimes.


Walking in the wilderness alone has enabled the two minds to truly become one, and to forget things that have needed forgetting for a long time. Now Binkies is ready to make a new life, and to never again be the one who says or does nothing while all around him suffer at the hands of evil. This time will be different. This is the time for Vanderklok!

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Her Doctor Binkys Vanderklok

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